This post is for people who want relationship or those who have relationship and are tired of the work relationships bring. Also you want to give up on relationship because of all the pain relationship brings, then this is the blog for you.
If you happen to be a happy go lucky soul, one who has the world in your hands and can honestly say you have obtained great nurturing relationships. If you have friends and family that support you and are happy with all the relationships you have, or you are one who feels you have an overflow of great amazing relationships….then run with it… good for you…. Enjoy! My advice to you “Please stay away from this blog today… close down right now, don’t continue reading. WARNING!!! DISCLAIMER!!!! do not read…stay in your happy little world and milk it for all its worth”. Please don’t read on… if you do …don’t say you were not warned.
Now onto those of you…like me. I want to share some thoughts that I hope will help you, sustain you, or bring hope to the hopeless.
If you have been struggling with relationship and/or everytime you try to trust someone….you get hurt… then this is my gift to you. If you are beginning to think “I give up”, being alone is so much more conducive to happiness then again for you especially, I have a few words of valuable encouragement. Included in this post is words of wisdom and hope for those who that have lived a life full of giving and relationship…. you have nurtured every relationship you ever had… you gave and gave and forgave and forgave, and then one day after years of work and work and work, trying to engaging others in this thing called relationship. I encourage you to stay attuned. There is HOPE.
If you were once very happy in your life…and then you got sick…or you went broke… or you had a time come in your life where you needed or desired for a little back…and you found all those investments yielded little fruit and even after years and years of working on your marriage… you have come to the realization that you do not really understand or know that person….well then get in line have I got a story for you (as veggie tails would say).
Relationship is perspective. Often one must step back to see with a lens that is fueled with understanding. People are changing…constantly changing…relationships are also subject to changing. Relationships follow a continuum that is fueled by understanding…understanding most importantly one must understand oneself and then out of that experience you will create a desire to understanding others…not the way you want them to be but the way they really are.
Know this first: People are going to let you down..thats a given. Noone can be available for any one person all the time. People have different needs, different views, different perspective…and people are under constant transformation according to their circumstances. So what can we do…walk away …give up…stay and take whatever anyone throws your way? No there is another way.
Let me tell you a story that will prove to you I do actually know what I am talking about. I once had a little birdy…we will call her Robin. She was my besty!!! I thought our relationship would last forever. I watched her grow under my wings from a tiny child to a amazing woman. She became all I had hoped for her and then I changed. That’s the thing …people change…we all are constantly changing. The things I once thought were so important…being busy…helping others… attending every event the church had… ministering to others…. not smoking…not drinking…not swearing… being the example for everyone
She and me we were tight…I never thought anything coulod come between us…but I realized, relationships change and I changed and she changed. Once I changed and I could not be the person she needed me to be and I noticed the change also took place in her, our relationship died. No, it did not dwindle, it did not hit a rough spot… it just died. The one person in the world I thought nothing could destroy the connection between us… the relationship died. She ceased to exist in my world. A new person took her place once of accusations, one of mistrust, one of uncomfortable feelings even to be in the same room. Now I had that feeling change and relationship change with my spouse many times in our marriage but of course I am committed so I just continued and eventually I got past whatever argument we were having.. I learned to expect less. Most people after 30 plus years of marraige just learn how to live with one another and move on if they want to make the commitment last. Marrage is hard(thats a different blog).
Back to my Robin… I could not just move away, could not just escape relationship, I loved this woman with all my heart …there was no stronger love bond… so what could I do? I could not ignore her, she was everywhere…every family gathering, every child graduation , birthday, Christmas, Easter…you get my point…. there was no getting away. She was an amazing person, an excellent Christian, a model citizen…its just she was no longer my besty. She was no longer who I called to cry, to discuss events, to share my heart and soul. This became a time in my life where I truly was alienated from her…how long could this last…we became different persons.. I loved her with all my heart…she loved me with all her heart…I cry just thinking letalone writing about this pain.